If It Makes You Angry, It Is Not Worth Your Time
A Recurring Theme
How often have you sat there and realized you’ve been worked up into discomfort by the daily friction of physical existence?
I’ve noticed lately that myself and others have been feeling the stress of what we call existence here in the civilized world more periodically but intensely when we do.
Something in the Air?
I feel we are all connected and this may even have something to do with a larger capacity for the environment to function as a communication ether for each individual psyche. There’s a possibility that the changes that people may notice as collective fluctuations are related to environmental changes or even changes in the amount of pollution or air-traffic in the sky and thus atmosphere.
Return to Center
If there is something that we are focusing on, and this is making us angry, then we would be wasting our time to remaining thinking in the same manner. If we have to focus on something in order to get something accomplished, then simply being angry as we complete the task would still be wasting time.
If we are to focus on something then our best choice is to be productive with our time and motivate ourselves to find a new way to overcome emotional obstacles. Each day that we feel we are moved from our center then this is a challenge. The easiest challenges are those we see coming. We see the event, the obstacle, the individual, however the challenge is presented in the variety of life.
The more difficult challenges are those we do not see coming. These could be an individual appearing at an inopportune or unexpected moment, something unpredictable happening, or simply waking up or realizing half-way through the day that we are annoyed but that we also do not know why! These are the challenges which recur and they do so because there is something within ourselves that is still vulnerable to whatever is triggering the instability in emotions.
When we practice bringing our attention and our emotions back to the core this is like we are practicing a spiritual breath of expansion and contraction where our focus tends to wander without that contractive element and when we notice this because we have reminded ourselves then we bring our focus back to the moment and regain control and this is like the contraction aspect. We must apply effort to produce the contraction aspect. This can happen automatically, as a byproduct of biology such as through a situation which in so serious our body automatically pushes out all other distractions and focuses on the moment.
The more this happens to us, instead of through our will-power, the more stressful life becomes. Yet, whether this happens or not, when we are in control of this by learning to practice to apply our will-power to bring our attention back to the moment in times of stress, carelessness, or lack of self-awareness, then we are exercising the spiritual muscle which enables us to handle the various threats to our emotional centeredness more readily.
Applying Will-Power or Being Powered by Automation
One conclusion one can take from this is that this expansion and contraction rhythm happens always, however one pattern can be expanding too far and having to snap back to reality in a less than comforting way. The other pattern can be when we remind ourselves to stay in the present moment by setting little ’emotional timers’ to go off when we find ourselves wandering away from the center and to continually exercise that spiritual muscle of will-power by consciously bringing ourselves back to center and in turn expanding our awareness of the self so that this process is easier and easier while becoming disturbed is less and less likely.
P.S.: How to Let Go of Anger
This can be a very confusing topic. If not confusing, maybe simply abrasive and toxic in effect.
The main idea here, the ‘method’ is to fully embrace the emotion. Fully feel the anger, allow one’s self to experience the loss of authority and self-empowerment. This is different than losing self-control. This is not an exercise in futility, or in accepting the loss of control except through simulation, because the entire exercise is maintained and applied by the will of the individual rather than automatically.
In going through this process, this almost ceremonial release of energy we can allow the flow of energy to work itself out through the details that we do not perceive consciously. We don’t have to work out every little detail consciously in order to actually come to terms with our position, but by effectively ‘maxing out’ our emotional spectrum to the range of being influenced and then allowing that to return to baseline and constructively forming a response we can achieve productivity.
Simulated Loss of Control
As well, if one is still perturbed by something then they can allow that energy to build up all the while remaining in control and then they act out their heated response in their mind in order to go through the motion of ‘losing control’. This should be a visualization of causing damage or harm, this could simply be a statement or response where they let all of their emotions out without filter or forethought. This is the kind of response we wouldn’t want to give in public or in any situation other than that which absolutely requires it. However, in going through this process in the mind we can get a good idea of where we stand mentally and emotionally to the far extreme and this will give us a better idea of where we would like to be and where the calm neutral zone would be so that we can remove the emotional or cognitive bias and deal directly with the facts of the matter. This way we avoid unnecessary stress, trauma, or entanglement with issues, people, or energies that we really have no business entangling with in the first place.
That entanglement issue is part of the trap of many issues, people, and situations out there and if we literally simulate “walking into” the bear trap or the booby trap in our mind we can act out all the horror and excitation and this will no longer have any power over us when we return to actually face the situation. One must remember that they are doing this to get their energy out in the mind rather than in person or in the actual response, otherwise they may feel inclined to extend that simulation into the response. This is also where the idea comes into play because it is helpful to make the simulated response as drawn out and rather goofy as possible because this is often what the people provoking others are actually looking for and once we see that this is the intended other end of the equation we realize the whole thing is a trap to begin with unless we operate in a calm, collected, and emotionally centered manner.
To Expand or to Contract; What’ll it Be?
In a way, this is practicing the ‘expansion’ of attention and simulating the loss of control while still applying our will-power and staying focused on generating self-awareness that will help us learn and develop the self. And the previous practice of remembering to come back to center before we are snapped to attention by some anger-inducing event, person, place, or moment is the practicing of the opposite form of the motion to contract.
To update this, I’d like to say there is also self-empowerment in facing our anger and those situations can act as catalysts for growth. However there is a fine line between people trying to piss other people off for personal gratification and everyone learning to get over their biases in a collective reality.